if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
