how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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