You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Apparently you make a good broom.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
