He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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