Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
