i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
