let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
