I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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