I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Watching her eat just hurts me
We have started to decorate penises.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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