just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
did i just pee glitter
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
