I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
