Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
