I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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