she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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