So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
