i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
