You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
