It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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