I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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