It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
