I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
