You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
