You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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