Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
