I think I won the penis lottery.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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