my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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