So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
