She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
