Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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