My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
