is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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