I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
