What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
