That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude i'm inner monologue high
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I fill condoms, not promises.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
