You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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