So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
