pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
