Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
