I'm really into asian looking animals
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
