I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
