addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
