I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hotel room ftw
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
