Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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