Already got asked if we're dating
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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