I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
