i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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