by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
