I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
