Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
not ubering you a puppy
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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