the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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