Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
