One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
