Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
